Get the Paper

'Get the paper' is a common command every morning at my house.

I am so excited that Sonny has, seemingly effortlessly, learned to fetch the newspaper from the end of the driveway in the mornings. It is so convenient to have a dog who can do that, especially on rainy, snowy or just plain cold mornings. Usually Dolly performs this duty for me, she came to me knowing how to retrieve the paper. Lately she has begun sauntering more and more, with her ever increasing, ho hum, I'll get it when I get there attitude it is time, I decide, to start passing the torch. Good ol' Doll has been in service to me for more than 10 years.

Training Sonny went something like this:

Day One: Dolly, get the paper! (I let Sonny follow her out to the front yard instead of putting him behind the gate, I am now confident he will not run away when given freedom to run.) Dolly gets the paper, Sonny tinkles on a bush and watches.

Day Two: Dolly, get the paper! Dolly ambles out across the lawn toward the newspaper at the end of the driveway, stops, squats, tinkles, wanders to the paper and meanders back to the house with it. Sonny lifts his leg on his bush and watches.

Day Three: Sonny, get the paper! Sonny dashes to the tree, to the other tree, to the garden, towards the backyard, a loop around the potty bush, spies the paper, brings it in. Dolly watches.

Day Four: Sonny, get the paper! Son runs to the paper, legs flying, floppy puppy racing, grabs the paper, brings it to me and drops it at my feet. Dolly has decided to relinquish her duties after these many years and has already gone out back behind the gate.

There, I think satisfied: Trained.

This morning, Day Five, 5:08 a.m. I leave them both out the door and in general say, Get the Paper. I have the gate open so they can go straight into the backyard after whoever has gotten there first brings me back the paper. Sonny gets it, Sonny has it in his mouth, I see he is running back to me, I stoop to receive the paper, he doesn't stop running, ooopsy, there he flies, past me, through the gate, into the backyard, with my newspaper in his mouth! Oh no! He sails to the far side of the yard, a very big yard, and drops the paper. I loud whisper, Get the paper Sonny, Get the paper Dolly! Somebody get the paper off the compost pile where he has plopped it so that I don't have to walk out across that big muddy yard in the before dawn dark in the rain over hidden poop bombs!

Nobody gets the paper.

I start to walk out a little ways. Dolly is now nearest to the paper. I say, Dolly get the paper. Dolly hears, and has it in her mouth for a few seconds but something catches her nose and she goes off sniffing, the paper dropped forgotten again, now in the middle of the yard. I walk a few more cautious steps, chanting Dolly get the paper Sonny get the paper Dolly get the paper Sonny get the paper. SOMEBODY get the paper!

Sonny finally brings the paper to me and drops it at my feet. There. Done.

I need to be trained: do not 'open gate' before 'get the paper' is concluded.