21 February 2008

On the couch

Last night as I was at home, relaxing watching t.v. Sonny the dog was pestering me to throw and fetch with him, down the long hallway in my house. But I don't want to because I want to read my magazine and half pay attention to American Idol on t.v. (I read the magazine at the parts where the contestants make me feel embarassed for them). Sonny paces the house a little, re-arranging his babies on the floor,harrumphing that I won't play, the bunny by the front door goes to the kennel in the doggie room, and the pull toy from the dining room relocates to in front of the t.v. Then, peace settles over the living room. Dolly is snoring on her blankie,oblivious, and Sonny is next to me on the floor by my chair, finally settled. I am reading my magazine and glancing at t.v., but it's so quiet I decide to check around for Sonny, first to my left to the blankie spot in the corner, no Sonny, then to my right, at the couch, and whoa! Who is over there stretched out, preening and feeling comfy but my dear Sonny! He looks at me with a look that says, would you mind fetching me a snack? I just got comfortable here.

Oh, I suspected this was going to happen, lately when I am sitting on the couch he puts his front legs up on the cushion next to me and stands up tall, his hind leg sort of hitch hitch hitching like it is itching to step up to the couch, not quite taking that final step up, and the other hind leg stays on the floor. I knew it was coming, couch sitting like his people. He sits up in the back seat of the car like a person, the couch was the logical next step.

I think the dear boy is feeling right at home these days, don't you?

18 February 2008

President's Day

In case you don't know, I work for a large construction company. I move from jobsite to jobsite as a project assistant (secretary). It's great, I totally love what I do. But sometimes I don't like my bathroom accomodations. I don't mind portapotties, unless it's a million degrees above or below zero. And I don't mind having to walk a ways to get there. But, here at the Lindbergh High School job trailer, we use the faculty bathrooms in the Alumni Building, across the hall from their main office. Today there is no school because of President's Day, which is nice, no kids and their cars and the saggy pants boys where you can see their underpants, (which is embarassing for me, what happened to the days where you were mortified if somebody saw your underpants??) but every single door is locked at the school! I can't get in! The lights are off! Nobody is around! Darrell usually keeps a key to the Gym 3 building door in his top left drawer, but I can't find it! He's not here yet this morning and won't answer his phone. I had no choice, I left the trailer and locked it up, got in my car and drove down to Schnucks, but I couldn't find their restroom! Across the street was a Burger King, so I drove over there to use their restroom. When I walked into the building it was sunny, cloudy skies, you could see there was a storm coming in from the west so I thought I better hurry. When I walked out of Burger King, I wasn't in there very long, snow was blowing sideways, visibility was low, the wind was high and the temperature had drastically dropped. If this luck keeps up I am going to have to take off on President's Day for the rest of the day! In the meantime, I think I am done drinking coffee for the day..........

13 February 2008

Coming Soon...

"Everybody Knows I Am A Good Cook But I Am Going to Die From The Burns"




"Black Hawk Down"

Though not necessarily in this order.

as you were.

Accident Number Two - Literally, and figuratively

Tonight was another milestone.

After teaching my aerobics class, I went to WalMart to get some stuff to make banana breads for Valentine's Day (is that traditional? ANSWER: yes, if you have black bananas on your countertop on Feb 13th). While I was at WalMart, I of course cruised the dog squeak toy aisle, squeak toys will henceforth be known as 'babies' (this will be another topic soon). On Aisle number Dog food (they don't really have numbered aisles at my Walmart), I found a delightful bunny baby with a squeaker in its tummy who wanted to come home with me. $3.97 by the way, cheaper than Petco.

Upon arrival home I decided to gift the new baby to Dolly instead of Sonny, poor thing Dolly has been SOOO neglected (read that: I guilted myself that I have given all the new babies to Sonny and all she got was that lousy t-shirt). She was delighted to be presented with it and wagged her tail appreciatively for about 4 minutes until I gave her a rawhide chewy and she was even happier and that baby was a thing of the past. I had chased Sonny off her baby for those 4 minutes and he was miffed, those things are mine he must be thinking. At the same time Doll got her chewy I also gave one to Sonny. As soon as Son realized that the baby was open and Dolly was otherwise occupied, his own chewy was fogotten and he scarfed the new baby to his lair, where I find him.

He is in heaven, he has the bunny baby in his kennel and he is in LOVE! I brought him his chewy to finish off while he is preening the new conquest, and he is in heaven twofold.

I proceed to preparing newly traditional banana breads, muffins and mini-muffins for Friends and Lovers.

Some minutes go by and I have to go to the living room to check on what's on t.v. Here is where I discover, that previous to himself attaining the baby trophy, he was mighty p-o'd that Dolly got the baby first and he did not, and he let me know it.... in two different spots.

PEE-YU-EE. Some time between Dolly getting the baby and not him, and me turning my back to make banana bread, Sonny has pooped in the living room and his displeasure is rare, apparent, odiferous and malodious. (I know,TMI, but that's the story, and if you want to know WHY I knew it was him and not Dolly, email me for the answer, : lscholz@mccarthy.com) (hint: the answer is not pretty). He has been scolded and turned out into the backyard and right now he is in his kennel timing himself out, he knows what he did, you can see 'MY BAD' in his eyes...

My bets are that he will never do it again , please reference 'Appropriately Repentant' and 'Bad Decision', he just plain does not want you to be mad at him. Ever.

I have just come from the kitchen after debatching the first batch of mini muffins, I heard his click click toes follow me in, looking for forgiveness. I tell him, I expect you to have accidents, you're only a puppy, but yo-yo Mister, don't let it happen again. He recieves his piece of muffin top and says three Hail Mary's.
He is forgiven.

My name is no-no bad dog, what's yours?

Stone Dogs

I have two concrete dogs in front of my carport, under the mailbox, at the edge of the driveway. I obtained them from the lady that lived across the street, in the house where my friends, Jim and Michiko, live now. When the old neighbor lady’s grown children were clearing out her house and moving her to the Assisted Living Place, I saw them out there, trying to move this big concrete dog to the curb for trash day, on a rickety ancient wheeled plant stand. They asked if I wanted it and I said I would take it, so they wheeled him over to my house, I think we looked like the little rascals all grown up pushing that heavy statue across the street on that old wheeled plant stand. This dog is about thigh high on me, what is that? 2 foot? 3 foot? And he is painted like a dalmation dog, with a red collar. There is a smaller, more portable concrete puppy who went with him, who still has a stake and wire around it’s neck, protection against plundering yard ornament thievesI think, or, trick or treaters. I have been meaning to paint the big one black, after Dolly, but mostly I’ve put that off indefinitely, partly because I never got around to it, and partly because I think I like it as a spotted dog. The little one is also spotted, and harder to dress…

Yes, I dress these dogs, like some people dress gooses on their front porches. It started with a simple child sized santa hat two Christmases ago, for the big one, and an old stocking cap ripped from a Christmas Styrofoam ball snowman ornament, for the little dog, he also had the snowman’s scarf. With green and red mardi gras beads, for the season. At Easter, of course, conventional bunny ears headband. Then, at summer, there was a dew rag and cool shades. I tried a baseball cap, but it was too big and you couldn’t see his shades under the brim. For Halloween he wore a witch hat headband with black yarn hair, and a black mask. Thanksgiving had me making him a pilgrim hat from some foamy black craft stuff that I have had in my craft drawer for no less than 8 years, and the little doggie had an orange Indian feather on a piece of elastic around his head. I don’t know what happened to it, but one day shortly after I made the pilgrim hat, it was gone. I wondered, did the wind take it? It was nowhere around in the yard. Then I decided, that it was the high school kids who catch the school bus in front of my house, one of them has been wearing a homemade pilgrim hat to school. As of Now these dogs are sporting a vast array of mardis gras beads around their necks. I wanted to drape them in purple fabric, like they do to the statues in church during Lent, but I’m afraid some people won’t get it (Like why does she have purple ghosts in her yard??), (and, do they even shroud the statues in church during Lent anymore?) and the people that do get it might be offended. Also, THE PRIEST lives right down the hill from my house, and he drives past me to get to church, and I imagine of course he's a hellbent Catholic, I'd hate for him to come knocking on my door admonishing my sacrilege, and also, FYI side note, he talks way too long at sermons. I digress. I couldn’t think of anything else for the dogs to wear during Lent so they still have their beads, but I am really looking forward to fashioning some Easter Bonnets .....

Stone Dogs.

12 February 2008

The Meeting - third installment from 1/26/08

Tucker and Sonny met yesterday afternoon in my backyard. AT first they both had their hackles up, but it didn't take long before they MUTUALLY decided hey, he's not such a bad guy, and they commenced to running and jumping and posturing and acting like a couple of tough males, at one point they were so into their play that I couldn't get their attention to get them into the house! This morning the same thing, a room full of rough housers, and this will surprise you,at one point Dolly was right in the thick of it and doing a little humping of her own, after all, she must figure, she's the matriarch, getting those two in line or sending them to time out, she was putting her two cents in. Tucker is a pacer, he is right now patrolling the perimeter, checking out the windows for marauding squirrels. Sonny is calmly grooming himself on the blanket next to his crate, and Dolly is at my feet as usual, keeping me safe.
This is exactly what I wanted.

Rich's story about the First Sonny he ever knew

The original story was titled:
you guys will appreciate this.

(By Rich Donahower)

Reminds me of a dog I knew in Oak Creek Colorado...Sonny...A big handsome Irish Setter. Very smart, and cool as the underside of a pillow.
Sara and Dale, friends next door in the apartment building I lived in, cooked a big turkey for Thanksgiving and had it on the table cooling a bit while we all walked down to the market to get a bottle of wine to enjoy with dinner. Sonny was all 'jumpingupanddown' excited to go for a walk. Dale, Sara, Sonny and I all got about halfway there - a few blocks - when I noticed that Sonny, who had been prancing along with us , was not with us. We all stopped and looked around, but he was not to be found. We all then looked into each others eyes and simultaneously said "THE TURKEY!" and started running back to the apartments. We found Sonny there in the kitchen sitting up tall with his chest puffed out, acting like he was everything and ignoring the turkey on the floor, already about half gone. It was like he planned the whole thing. He knew how to open the screen door, he knew where 'going for a walk' was, and he knew how much time he would have alone with his turkey. I loved that dog.

11 February 2008

Appropriately Repentant - the 2nd story

Well, mostly it’s my fault. I THOUGHT the kennel door was latched when we went to bed last night.

The destruction was not bad this time, a soggy slimy shoe, the right foot shoe (Rocket Dog brand, how appropriate), sofa pillows re-arranged, a tennis shoe on the couch under the pillows, the other one still on the floor where I left it, a paper grocery bag in front of the front door, nail buffer chewed again, he was sharpening his teeth perhaps, mainly just small mayhem (I now keep the doggie treats UP and out of reach). But the real thing was that when I opened my bedroom door and he came flying in and I realized he has been free all night, I thought, uh-oh, this is going to be bad, I better rest with my snooze alarm before I go see. He spends a good 60 seconds jumping, hopping, nipping and licking at me as I lay in bed, and then he goes into the hallway. I see his tail in the mirror on my bedroom door, just his tail, it stays there, it stays there, it stays there, I call him, Come Sonny, it stays there, (this is like just seconds in time) I get up to see what the heck is he doing? Well, what he’s doing is lifting his leg and peeing on the wall in the hallway! No no no no bad dog! I scurry him out the door, into the back yard, bad dogging him the entire way.

The good thing is that for his first ever bad potty in the house I caught him in the act, and he’s a pretty smart guy, I’m pretty sure he got the idea what he was doing was not a behavior to repeat. He spent the rest of the morning on his blankie in his kennel with his ears down and looking - appropriately repentant.

Bad Decision - the first installment

Well, Sonny has been pretty good, this is what I think to myself before I go to bed last night, I think I will just put him in the doggie room with Dolly overnight, not in his crate, and see how he does…. Bad decision.

1) Hurricane
2) Tornado
3) Cyclone
4) Tsunami
5) gale
6) tempest
7) typhoon
8) whirlwind
9) twister

These words describe the way the doggie room looked as I found it this morning at 3:45 a.m. awakened by two dogs rassling and having a high old time. Big mistake leaving the 2 full open boxes of Skippy Treats and Alpo Snaps on top of the tv stand that I use to hold the misc dog things, the boxes were not only empty of all cookies, not a crumb in sight, but chewed to shreds to boot. I’m sure that Dolly had a snack or two as well, she probably thinks now that he is the best friend ever, he delivers midnight snacks!!! I keep the small dog cookies in the Cookie Monster Cookie Jar on top of the stand, Cookie Monster’s head was turned backwards like an owl, but those cookies were safe and Cookie Monster was the only thing left on the stand. Sonny took every brown paper bag out of the bin and they were strewn everywhere, he took all the dog ear cleaners and other misc bottles of dog things out of the basket that was on the middle shelf of the old t.v. stand. At least the doors to the stand were shut and he couldn’t get to the two boxes of BIG dog cookies that were underneath. The waste basket under the computer? Empty. All those old bill envelopes chewed to shreds, chew marks on the empty printer ink cartridges, phew on that one, that could have been a real mess. The braid rug and dog blanket /comforter were in a heap in the middle of the room, and on top of that was the dog food mat and the empty ceramic water bowl, that bowl is HEAVY! hence you have the tsunami, water all over the floor. In his crate are an empty gift bag with a hole chewed in the bottom, along with his baby squeak toy and his Kong. Shreds of boxes and papers are everywhere, inside and out of his crate. I didn’t look at the furniture to see if he chewed on that, I didn’t even think to check that, it’s just dawning on me now, surely he didn’t have time to do that too? Now I have to go home and check closer…. Clearly the doggie room was not puppy proofed.

And then, as I was getting ready for work after cleaning all that up, I knew I needed to keep checking on him, but the only thing he did after all that was to take the end of the roll of toilet paper in the hall bath and walk it into the living room, probably a line of 8-10 feet of toilet paper, the first square chewed to shreds. Thankfully he toned down his grand finale.

Unmistakably, Sonny is not ready to be left unsupervised.

What a bad decision.

The first one

This blog is my first attempt at online journaling, I hope it is as interesting as Kate's and Kris's. I want to be just like them when I grow up.

There have been so many cute stories to tell about my new dog, Sonny, I can't not want to share them!

And things are turning around for me these days, after a very long time of feeling out of control, things are coming back to me and at last life is really really GREAT!!!

Ok, here goes, will it work? Publish post going .....NOW!